


being a marketable plushie is fine actually

by whatisUPgaymers



Category: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Being Turned Into A Marketable Plushie, Charades, He/Itrey, M/M, and othe Fun Pronoun Headcanons, light body horror, namely he/they coomer and he/they/it bubby, rated T for language and some Suggestive Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 23:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29865414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatisUPgaymers/pseuds/whatisUPgaymers
Summary: “Tommy, what thefuckis going on?”Tommy retrieved the plushie once again, holding it gingerly in his hands.  “Well- Benrey didn’t answer its phone or anything, so I- I’m pretty surethisis Benrey.  And I saw it walking towards your house on its… its lil stump legs like a- like a munchkin cat.  But worse.”“Why the fuck does helooklike that, Tommy??”“Oh!”  He turned the plush over in his hands, inspecting carefully, humming thoughtfully before shrugging matter-of-factly.  “Iunno!”
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 15
Kudos: 91





	being a marketable plushie is fine actually

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday hlvrai and happy final day to purchase your own benrey plushie EVER... enjoy this

The storm outside was fucking _loud._ But with each roll of thunder, Gordon only grew more determined to not let it keep him up.

… Which just made him all the more frustrated when, after finally drifting off, his phone started ringing maybe an hour or so later. He ignored it without so much as checking who it was. He figured going back to sleep afterwards shouldn’t be _too_ hard, at least, seeing as the storm had passed since then. However, that plan was short-lived when he heard the doorbell ring.

Gordon sat up and scrunched his eyebrows together. Usually, the only person he knows who swings by _this_ late is Benrey. But, over the year or so that they’ve known each other, he’s never really been the _doorbell_ type. No, he’s more the _knock once and give Gordon about two minutes to answer before entering through one of many alternate methods varying in both normality and legality_ type. On a _good_ day. So, either Benrey was changing things up, or this was something out of the (relatively) ordinary.

He stumbled to the door, rubbing his eyes as he opened it just a crack. Seeing who it was, he opened it the rest of the way. “ _Tommy?_ ”

Tommy awkwardly waved with his free hand. “Good evening, Mr. Freeman.” That hand got to rummaging through his pockets as he spoke. “I just- I was just giving Sunkist a walk, and then…” He had run out of pockets to rummage through. Brows furrowed, he looked around, gasping when his eyes landed on whatever was in Sunkist’s mouth. “ _Sunkist!_ No! Drop it!”

Gordon squinted, wishing he’d thought to get his glasses off the nightstand first. “What, you find somethin’ interesting?”

“Well, no, uh- not really, no.” Finally getting Sunkist to drop it, Tommy handed the object over. “It’s more… more like I found some _one_ interesting.”

In his hand, he was able to get a much better look. Gordon’s not sure what he _did_ expect, exactly. But a plush doll that could only be meant to resemble Benrey wasn’t _high on the list,_ that’s for sure. “Oh… _kay?_ Tommy, buddy, I think this falls under some-” The plushie raised one of its arms and waved. “ _-thihiheh!_ ”

As Gordon dropped it in shock, Sunkist swooped in to pick it back up in her mouth. “ _No,_ Sunkist!”

“Tommy-”

“Drop it! Put it _down!_ ”

“Tommy, what the _fuck_ is going on?”

Tommy retrieved the plushie once again, holding it gingerly in his hands. “Well- Benrey didn’t answer its phone or anything, so I- I’m pretty sure _this_ is Benrey. And I saw it walking towards your house on its… its lil stump legs like a- like a munchkin cat. But worse.”

“Why the fuck does he _look_ like that, Tommy??”

“Oh!” He turned the plush over in his hands, inspecting carefully, humming thoughtfully before shrugging matter-of-factly. “Iunno!” He pushed it into Gordon’s hand again. “Well, here you go!”

“Wh-” Gordon looked down. “What the _hell_ am I supposed to do with-” When he looked back up, there was no hide nor hair of Tommy or Sunkist. “Tommy…?”

He sighed, gently tucking Benrey under his arm before shutting and locking the door. “Okay. Alright.” He shifted Benrey back into his hand to get a good look at him. “I assume you can’t really go home like this, right? You’re kinda… stubby.”

Benrey nodded.

“And _I’m_ too tired to deal with whatever’s going on right now.” Gordon looked around. “Uhhh…” Carefully, he nudged one of the throw pillows on the couch to lay flat. “Here.” He set Benrey down on it. “You can sleep here for the night, I guess. _I’m_ gonna go sleep in my room.”

It sat up.

“ _With_ the door closed.”

It laid back down.

Gordon huffed and rolled his eyes. It had no real bite to it. “Yeah, yeah. We’ll start addressing what the hell’s wrong with you tomorrow.” He paused as he was leaving the living room. “G’night, Benrey.”

* * *

In the morning, light hit the world. Light hit Gordon as he cracked his eyes open. And light hit his eyes after bouncing off of Benrey’s felty face inches from his own.

Gordon sighed as his eyes drooped shut again. “‘Course you’d figure somethin’ out.” He rolled over, waving his hand dismissively over his shoulder. “Whatever.” After a moment, he sat up, staring at the door. _Still shut._ “Wait.” He turned to look down at Benrey. “Did- you didn’t _open_ that, did you?”

Benrey sat up and shook his head.

“... So you still have your weird alien powers, I’m guessing?”

With a single tone, a stream of blue lights emerged from its face, not at _all_ scaled down to match its little embroidered mouth.

Gordon struggled not to let any of it go down the wrong pipe, and, subsequently, struggled to not let himself think too hard about why that’s even an issue with what appears to be _pure light._ He took a deep breath. “Okay…” He rubbed his temple. “Alright, be honest. _Did_ you do this to yourself on purpose?”

It shook its head vigorously enough Gordon was surprised it didn’t knock itself over.

“... Huh.” He ran a hand down his face. “Did- no, no, you-- Even _Mr. Coolatta’s_ scared of you, I _seriously_ doubt somebody would be brave enough to mess with you like this.” Squinting, he looked down at Benrey. “... _Right?_ ”

He shrugged.

“Right. Yeah.” After a moment of quietly sitting together, he flopped back onto his back. “Man, this kinda sucks.” He turned onto his side, facing Benrey again. “I mean, obviously it sucks for _you_ more, but… I wanna help you out, which, y’know, isn’t all that easy when you can’t even tell me what _happened_ to you.”

Benrey was still incapable of shifting his expression away from his serene smile and dinnerplate eyes. But the tilt of his head before snuggling up against Gordon’s shoulder said enough.

“Yeah, yeah,” he muttered, patting its head. They laid there like that for a moment longer before Gordon let out a deep breath. “Okay, dude, I need to eat breakfast.”

Benrey just cuddled up closer.

Gordon laughed. “ _Bro!_ Bro, I gotta get food in me. I’m _not_ starving to death for you, man.”

Rolling off him, it crossed its little arms.

Sitting up, Gordon took his glasses and his prosthetic off the nightstand. With both of these on, he stood up and looked down at Benrey. “Alright, come on.”

He turned his head away.

“Benrey, I am _not_ leaving _you_ of all people in my room unsupervised.” He scooped him up in his arms. “Here, look, hugs. That’s what you wanted, right?”

It splayed its arms across his chest, nodding against his shirt.

Gordon fought back a smile. “ _God,_ you’re so childish sometimes. You know that?” Idly rubbing his thumb against his back, he made his way to the kitchen. “Can’t fuckin’ believe you.” He tried to pry Benrey away from his shirt with much difficulty. “Wh- let _go._ ”

Not letting go, it looked him dead in the eye.

“... Please?”

Nodding, he released his grip.

He put him down on the counter softly. “I dunno how the hell you got a grip like that, man.” Turning around, he opened the freezer. “I mean, you barely even have _thumbs…_ Ah, there we go.” He pulled out a box of hot pockets and fished one out.

Benrey looked at the box and crossed his arms.

Gordon raised an eyebrow at it. “What?”

It threw its hands up before gesturing aggressively at the box.

He snorted. “What? _What?_ Do you _want_ one? I don’t-”

It shook its head.

“Okay, well, I dunno what the hell you’re trying to say to me! I’m just gonna…” He put the hot pocket in the microwave and started it up. Leaning against the counter while he waited, he smiled and shook his head. “Can’t believe I’m letting a fuckin’... _plushie_ talk to me like this.”

Benrey moved in such a way that could only be meant to resemble sticking his tongue out.

Gordon snorted at that display. “ _Whatever,_ man!” For a moment, the two of them just sat there in silence, listening to the microwave work its magic. “... Hey, have you tried just… _not_ being a plushie?”

He looked him in the eye.

“Look, I know how that _sounds,_ but listen, you’ve still got powers. I’ve seen you do _way_ weirder stuff to your body before. It’s not _that_ crazy an idea, right?”

Benrey tapped its chin. It stood up and flexed all its limbs, shaking with concentration.

Gordon watched this for a moment before bursting out into laughter. “ _Alright, alright,_ don’t shit your pants, man!” He patted Benrey’s head. “Just- let’s just cross that off, I guess.”

Benrey faceplanted on the counter.

“What? What’re you- are you _sulking?_ ”

He waved him off.

“Oh, man, you _are._ ” Chin on the counter, Gordon got on Benrey’s level. “What’s up? What’s got you all grumpy?”

Rolling onto its back, it threw its hands up towards the ceiling.

He tilted his head. “This really has you down, huh?”

… Benrey nodded.

“Wel-” The microwave started beeping, and Gordon straightened back up. “Well, lemme eat real quick. I think I’ve got an idea on how to figure this out.”

Benrey sat up to give him a hopeful look. The microwave door knocked him over immediately after.

* * *

“This it?”

Benrey looked up from its spot nestled in Gordon’s coat and nodded.

“... _This_ is where it happened.” He glanced over the plain front of the apartment. “I wasn’t expecting something so… _normal._ ” He looked at Benrey. “Is- is this _your_ apartment?”

Another nod.

“... Huh.” The doorknob turned with ease. “You didn’t lock it?”

Benrey gestured with his tiny little hands.

“That… okay. That’s fair.” Carefully, he pushed the door open a crack. He pushed it open the rest of the way when he laid eyes on the state of the floor. “ _Jesus,_ Benrey-”

It hopped down onto a pile of clothes that was a bit too far from any bedroom for Gordon’s liking.

“Fuck- _cool,_ alright, lead the way, I guess,” he grumbled as he shut the door behind them. Halfway through trying to take his shoes off, Benrey already was about to round a corner, so he huffed and tiptoed around the various mounds with them still on.

Down a little hall, there Benrey stood, looking up at a particularly steep mound of hoodies and assorted knick-knacks right in a doorway. It tried to climb up, sliding down after mere seconds.

Gordon’s eyebrows creased together as he watched it make a second attempt. He glanced around and counted maybe three bare patches of carpet he could see from where he stood. Lips pursed, he walked over to Benrey. “Hey, uh… I don’t wanna pry or anything, but like… Do you need _help?_ ”

It reached its arms up for him, hopping in place.

He sighed as he leaned down to pick him up. “That’s not what I meant.” Tucking Benrey into the front of his coat, he picked up the top hoodie. “Here-”

Benrey smacked his chest.

Gordon sat cross-legged on the floor. “ _Dude,_ calm down. I’m not trying to steal or anything, I’m just… clearing a path for you.”

It exaggeratedly mimed rolling its eyes.

“ _Yeah, yeah._ Don’t believe me, wanna see my ID, whatever.” He folded the hoodie and set it on a relatively flat spot in the hallway before starting on the next one he pulled. His voice softened. “Don’t mean to assume anything, but… after all this, if you ever wanna- I mean, obviously I’m not a therapist or anything, but…” He sighed. “I may not bring it up all that much, but I’ve… dealt with some shit in the past, y’know? Since _way_ before Black Mesa, even. So… when you can talk again, y’know, we could… talk about things some time. If you want. Help you get help or something.” Setting some objects aside, he let out a weak laugh. “Man, I’d probably just assume this was how you are as a person if my room didn’t look _exactly_ like this back in highschool. I mean, I’m not ruling it out, either, but… _mm._ ”

The conversation faded out, but things continued like that. Gordon taking the mountain before them apart piece by piece. Benrey dangling his arms over the zipper, the slow repetitive motions before him and the gentle heart behind him making his stuffed body relax. It continued until the carpet finally showed its face, filthy but bare.

“There. See? That wasn’t so bad. It’s… it’s a _start._ ” He gestured ahead. “Go on ahead.” Nothing happened. He looked down. “... Are you _asleep?_ ”

Benrey straightened itself out with a start. It pawed at its eyes as it looked at the empty patch of floor.

Gordon smiled and shook his head. “Alright, that’s fine.” He stood, pulling himself up with the doorframe. “You wanted to look in here?”

He nodded.

“Okay.” He stepped into the room. It was a small, basic bedroom- definitely looked like the second most lived in area of the apartment besides the living room. It was still as much of a nightmare as the rest of the place, but there was a little path carved through the mounds between the bed and the lightswitch, and another, fainter path from the bed to the half-empty dresser. The aforementioned bed… well, to avoid being _too_ overtly gross, let’s just say that the bed certainly looked like it could stand to be replaced. But, the state of it is not what’s important. What’s _important_ is the book that laid open face-down near the half-empty pillow, more and more obviously aged the closer Gordon got to it.

Benrey waved for Gordon to stop before it hopped down onto the bed. It stood between him and the book, waving its arms frantically in the air.

“What? Use your-” Gordon smacked himself on the forehead before he could finish the sentence. “Could you- I dunno, do charades or something?”

He motioned like he was opening a book. Then, he pointed to Gordon before poking his own palm. Finally, he crossed his arms in an X and shook his head.

“... Don’t touch the book?”

Benrey nodded vigorously before holding up one of its palms.

Gordon gave a high-five that quickly toppled Benrey over. “Oh, shit-” He helped him pull himself up. “Sorry, sorry.” Clearing his throat, he leaned over to squint at the book. “What’s the deal with it, though?”

It looked him in the eye before gesturing over its plushie body.

“... No way.”

He nodded.

“No- _no,_ nuh-uh. There is _no_ way you’re a cute lil doll because of some dusty old _book._ ”

Benrey planted his hands on his hips.

“Hey- _hey,_ at least there’s _some_ scientific explanation behind all the shit that happened with the Resonance Cascade! Sure, you’re… fuckin’ _weird,_ but… Shit, well, I guess Mr. Coolatta’s kinda…” Gordon grimaced. “ _Goddammit,_ you read a cursed book or some shit, didn’t you?”

It shrugged.

“Well, you came in here for a reason, right? You think it might have a fix in there somewhere?” He started glancing around. “I mean- I’m not sure how I’m supposed to read it without _touching_ it, but…”

Benrey grabbed the book with its stubby little hands and flipped it over. It seemed to take zero exertion.

“Oh, shit, okay-” His eyes hit the page and he immediately stumbled backwards. “ _Ohh,_ shit, _okay!_ ” Blinking hard, he tried again. The words, if they could even be _called_ that, were ever shifting, jumping all over the pages, changing colors, and periodically devolving into simple shapes. “Benrey, what the _fuck_ is this?”

He shrugged.

“What- how did-- _What_ did you even…?”

Benrey gave a silent sigh. It laid down on the bed, mimicking reading a book above it. Then, pointing to the open window nearby, it mimed something flying in and hitting the book before pretending to convulse. Sitting back up, it did a sweeping gesture over itself.

His eyes moved around while he processed that little act. Pinching his nose, Gordon stood up straight and took a deep breath. “... You’re seriously telling me you’re like this because some old book got struck by lightning. While you were reading it. _Indoors._ ”

He nodded.

“How the _fuck_ does that-” He was cut off by a string of blue lights flying into his mouth. “... Fine. Fine. Alright. I _guess_ that makes sense. Fuck it.” Rubbing his temple, he cocked an eyebrow at Benrey. “Well… can _you_ read this?”

It shook its head.

“... Cool. Just gonna assume it was readable _before_ it got hit by lightning, or else I’m gonna go insane. Do you have any clue where to look for a way to fix you or something? Some creepy store you found this thing at, or…?”

Again.

“ _Awesome._ ” With a sigh, Gordon crouched next to the bed, getting on eye level with it. “Well, uh… you got anything else you need to do while we’re here?”

Benrey started tapping his chin, looking around. After a moment, he shrugged.

“Alright.” He grabbed him and stood back up. “C’mon, let’s go.”

It kicked its legs around, trying to wiggle free.

“Bro, I am _not_ leaving you _here_ like this, and, no offense, but I am _not_ sticking around any longer than I have to.” Gordon returned Benrey to the front of his jacket. “Believe it or not, I _do_ actually give a shit about you. Don’t know _why_ after all the shit you’ve pulled, but, well, here we fuckin’ are!” He gently pet the top of its fuzzy helmet. “I care about your wellbeing, and you’re just gonna have to _deal with it._ ” He trudged out of the bedroom. “Now, can you point me to your keys? Don’t need people just walkin’ in here while you’re gone.”

Benrey buried his face in his hands.

“... What? Did I-?”

It pointed backwards. After Gordon turned around, it gestured towards the dresser.

“Oh, shit, there they are.” He pocketed the keys and exited the room again.

Back outside, Gordon took a deep breath as he locked the apartment up behind him. Benrey watched the ground, swinging his legs around imperceptibly as they walked down the street back towards Gordon’s place. His head perked up as he heard rustling behind them.

“ _Hello,_ Gordon!”

“ _Jesus-_ ” Gordon whipped around. “Coomer! Bubby! Hey! Where’d-?” His eyes landed on the two person-shaped holes in the hedges he’d just walked past. “Did you-”

“We walked straight through the bushes!” Bubby chimed in.

“... Great!”

Coomer gave Gordon a hearty pat on the shoulder. “It _is_ great to bump into you, Gordon!” Their eyes met Benrey’s. “Oh, my! What a _lovely_ marketable plushie you have there.”

Benrey waved.

“And so polite, too!”

“Ahhh, yeah, that…” Gordon rubbed the back of his neck. “Believe it or not, that’s actually _not_ a… ‘marketable plushie’ or whatever.”

“Now, Gordon, don’t sell yourself short. I think it’s _very_ marketable!”

“That’s not-”

Bubby pulled out its wallet. “I’ll buy one right now!”

“I’m not _selling_ them! Let me finish!”

“... _Gross!_ ” Bubby put their wallet back.

“Ohhh my _god,_ that’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Now, Gordon, there’s nothing wrong with-” Coomer was cut off by Gordon slapping a hand over both his and Bubby’s mouths each.

“Shut _up,_ listen to me, okay-- This isn’t a fuckin’, regular plushie, that I’m selling, it’s not some- _whatever_ weird sex joke you guys were just trying to make- no, this is _Benrey._ ”

Bubby peeled the hand off their mouth. “Well, yeah, I can _see_ that. You did a very good job making it look like him.”

“No, Bubby, this literally _is Benrey._ I’m still not fully sure _how,_ or _why,_ but- it got turned into-” Gordon lifted Benrey and gestured at him. “ _This thing!_ ”

Benrey waved again for good measure.

“Oh- oh, _good lord!_ ” He turned towards Coomer. “Coomer, pinch me!”

“Of course!” They clocked Bubby straight in the jaw, sending it toppling over.

“I said _pinch!_ ”

Gordon doubled over laughing. “What- what the _fuck_ was _that_ about?!”

Bubby rubbed at his face as Coomer helped him up. “I’ve had nightmares about this exact scenario too many times to count, I just wanted to check!”

He wiped a hand down his face, mouth still in a smile, tucking Benrey back into its little nook. “Oh, man, I _wish_ this was just a nightmare. It’s been like this since-” His eyebrows flew up. “Hang on- maybe you two can help!”

Coomer slung his arms across Gordon and Bubby’s shoulders. “Of _course_ we can!”

“We _can?_ ”

“Well- maybe you can give us some ideas, at least.” Gordon gave Benrey a light pat. “So, _apparently_ this happened to him while he was reading some… old- I guess _magic_ book during that storm last night, and one of the lightning bolts hit the book while he was holding it or something?”

“Oh, dear. A _classic_ Curse Accident!”

Bubby tapped his chin. “I _thought_ that storm ended out of nowhere.”

Gordon furrowed his eyebrows. “Why am I the only fucking person who was asleep for this? That was, like, 11 PM.”

Coomer patted his back. “Now, Gordon, not all of us are little bitches who can’t handle staying up on a friday night.”

He choked back a laugh. “Okay, well… You guys have any idea what to do about this?”

“Well, it’s hard to know without the book-”

“Book got fucked up, Bubby. Benrey just took me to look at it, it’s all… not readable.”

“Oh… fuck. Well, as I was saying…” Bubby smiled knowingly. “You _could_ try the ol’ _classic_ curse breaker.”

Coomer grinned wide. “Oh! _That’s_ certainly worth a shot!”

Gordon tilted his head. “What’re you guys even _talking_ about?”

Benrey seemed to catch on, as it perked up and turned to look up at him.

He looked down at him. Then, as he furrowed his eyebrows, it clicked. “... No.” He glanced between Bubby and Coomer. “ _Nooo,_ you can’t be talking about…”

“We’re talking about true love’s kiss, you silly rascal!” they both said, almost in perfect unison.

“Well, I guess we’re fucked, then.” 

Bubby lowered his glasses. “... _Huh?_ ”

“I don’t have any fuckin’ clue who Benrey’s _true love_ is!” He looked down. “Do _you_ know who your true love is?”

Benrey buried its face in its hands (as best as it could, considering how big its face was compared to its hands).

“There, see? Can’t do it.”

“... You’re kidding.”

“Guys, c’mon, this isn’t some- _princess movie_ or whatever. The whole ‘true love’ concept’s kinda dated, anyway, like- other kinds of love aren’t just _fake,_ y’know?”

“Gordon,” Coomer clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I was under the impression the _book_ that did this to it was _also_ dated.”

“... Okay, that’s _very_ possible, but _still._ How the hell are we supposed to know?”

Bubby shrugged. “Trial and error, I guess?”

He dragged his hands down his face. “That could take fucking _forever,_ man. Hell, he might not have even _met_ his true love yet.”

Coomer grimaced. “I suppose that _could_ be the case.”

Benrey shimmied down Gordon’s jacket until it dropped onto the sidewalk.

Gordon looked down. “Hey-” He followed after him as he pattered along down the street. “If you wanted to go home, you could’ve just sai-” He smacked his forehead. “Fuck- okay, this is fair.” He picked Benrey up again and turned to wave goodbye. “Sorry- was nice talking to you guys!”

“Any time, Gordon!”

Bubby waved. “Good luck! Don’t fuck things up more!” It waited for them to get out of earshot before turning towards Coomer. “If it really _is_ true love’s kiss, I’m _going_ to laugh at him.”

“And I’ll be right there with you!”

* * *

Gordon gently set Benrey on the floor. It was already scampering further into the house by the time he unzipped his coat. He sighed as he toed his shoes off. As he was about to head for the bathroom, he noticed it sat on the couch with its head in its hands. Cautiously, he approached the television.

Benrey glanced up at him over fabric fingers.

“Hey- I’ll get out of your hair, just…” He set the remote and a freshly charged controller on the cushion next to him. “If you want ‘em, here. Playstation’s connected to HDMI 1.”

It stayed still.

He frowned as he walked away. However, he heard the Playstation turn on before he even got to the bathroom.

* * *

After that hiccup- which Gordon never came to fully understand, really- they fell into a routine _much_ quicker than he expected. Gordon falls asleep in an empty bed. Benrey stares him down when he wakes up. Gordon, if he doesn’t have to go to work, slaps together an idea to figure out what to do and pursues it- usually asking a friend, thanks to how many were some sort of scientist. None of the fields were necessarily related to curses- except Darnold, tangentially, but Gordon decided not to risk trying any further potions after the first one turned Benrey invisible for seventy-two hours- but he figured it _had_ to be better than nothing. Benrey hogs the TV when they’re done for the day, unless he loads up a multiplayer game and silently begs for a second player. Gordon has some sort of emotional conversation with (to?) Benrey and feels awkward about it. Benrey does some body language that could only be meant to be teasing. Gordon laughs and tells him to fuck off. Repeat cycle.

There were outliers, of course. Sometimes nothing came to mind. Gordon always felt bad about those days. When Benrey was invisible, he was far too slippery to get anything done. Sometimes the visits to ask for advice turned into actual friendly hangouts- Benrey seemed to enjoy when that happened, and Gordon could never hide his smiles over this, as much as he _tried_ to.

Tonight was another outlier in that the bed was not empty when Gordon laid down- Benrey was right there with him. He had his back turned to it as he looked at his phone. It stared up at the ceiling.

Gordon huffed half a laugh as he rolled over. Benrey rolled over to face him. “I’m trying to get Mr. Coolatta to meet up with me to see if he can do somethin’, but I think he might know you’d be there.”

He stared at his tired eyes and lopsided smile.

Glancing up from the screen, he blinked. “... What? Somethin’ on my face?”

Benrey scooted forward, prompting him to set the phone aside. It cupped his cheeks in its tiny little hands before pressing its embroidered smile against his lips. After a moment, it pulled away and rolled over onto its stomach.

When nothing seemed to happen, Gordon gently placed a hand on his back. “Hey… it’s alright. There’s gotta be another way. I… I kinda figured that wouldn’t work anyway, so…”

“Oh?” Benrey turned its head, showing its face again. “You sure ‘bout that?”

Gordon squinted at him. “... One second.” Sitting up, he grabbed the half-empty water bottle on his nightstand and dumped its contents onto his face. He slapped his face a couple times for good measure before looking at Benrey again. Sure enough, those were _lips._ “What the _fuck._ ”

Benrey stood up. “I gue-”

“I fucking hate this.”

“Lemme _talk-_ ”

“Benrey- Benrey, you look like an Annoying Orange character right now, I _despise_ it.”

He sang blue light at him. “Well- _listen-_ I _guess_ we didn’t kiss enough, _true love._ ”

“Tha-” Cheeks flushed, Gordon shut his mouth. “... I am… _not_ going to unpack that right now. I’m… just gonna kiss you more and hope that’s _actually_ how this shit works.”

“ _Helllll yeah,_ bro, pucker _up!_ ”

And pucker up he did. And pull away as soon as their mouths got close again he _also_ did. “ _Nope,_ nope, I can’t, you fucking _suck_ to look at.”

“Bro, why’re you kissin’ with your eyes open?”

“Why are _youuuuu!_ ”

“I fuckin’ _wish_ I could close my eyes right now, man! They’re all dried out and shit, gotta- gonna have to buy _alllll_ the eye drops when I’m better.”

“Oh, _god,_ is all this gonna transfer over? You- you haven’t _eaten_ anything, or-”

Benrey cut him off with another, slightly longer kiss. He had a jaw when he pulled away. “Dude, are you gonna fix this curse or what?”

“Mmgh- _god,_ okay, I _can’t_ back out now, this is _too_ disturbing. Just gotta-” Squeezing his eye shut tight, he took a couple deep breaths. “ _Okay!_ Okay. I’m ready.” He laid back down, eyes still closed. “Go ahead. Kiss away.”

Soft, tiny hands held his face again as their lips brushed together. It started off gentle. There was a nose bumping against his own soon enough. The kisses became more and more passionate as they grew accustomed to it. Gordon had to try _very_ hard not to scream as he felt the hands on his face turn from fabric to flesh bit by tiny bit- he could’ve _sworn_ he heard Benrey’s fingernails forming. He tried his best to enjoy it, though, despite his growing horror at what must be happening beyond his eyelids, and was successful for the most part. After all, while it had never really occurred to him for more than a few easily brushed-off fleeting moments before, and as much as he still held disdain for the concept behind it, he could certainly see himself wearing the title of “Benrey’s true love” with pride.

After a while- neither of them bothered to keep track- Benrey pulled away. “Hey. Open your eyes, man.”

Gordon did. And, there he was- Benrey, no longer a stuffed facsimile of himself. Still in his security guard uniform, much like his plushie self depicted. Gordon half-hid his face in the pillows. “Great, now I feel _severely_ underdressed.”

“Awww, bro, don-” It coughed, and a bit of stuffing poked out of its mouth. “... Uh.”

“I- here,” Gordon shoved the stuffing back back in awkwardly. “There.”

“Thanks.” They laid there for a moment. “... Guess we still gotta kiss some more. That’s cool.”

Gordon rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I _guess._ ” He gave him a light peck on the lips. “Better get your kisses in now, ‘cause I have a _lot_ of shit to process when we’re done here.”

“God, you’re so _meannnn-_ ”

Another kiss, and he pat Benrey on the cheek. “Look, man, you want functioning guts or not?”

“... Maybe.”

He laughed and shook his head before flinging an arm over its shoulder. “Alright, then. C’mere.”

**Author's Note:**

> i didn't mean to give the plushie depression i'm sorry
> 
> self-promotion time................ i am rubybelladonna on tumblr, and i have a hlvrai au ask blog also on tumblr at strangenewneighborhood. thank u


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